


Verruca's Secret

by fizzbuzzler



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Geralt is bad at shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 13:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12059886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzbuzzler/pseuds/fizzbuzzler
Summary: A slight diversion from the usual dark stuff as I was hit with an inspiration particle that demanded something different.The White Wolf is thrown into unknown waters and only Dandelion can save him."It had all started with the bloody unicorn - and the fact that he loved to rip Yen’s underwear from her."





	Verruca's Secret

Geralt already regretted his decision. No - not just this decision but every decision he had taken during the last week. They had all amounted to this last one, and he wasn’t sure if this wouldn’t be his undoing, and leave him behind a broken man.

He lifted his eyes warily from the table in front of him to Dandelion, who had just started a rather detailed retelling of how Geralt had saved Yennefer from the Wild Hunt. He should have known that asking the Bard to accompany him on this particular trip would have it’s complications. But that Dandelion had managed to make him wish that the earth would open up and swallow him whole, within five minutes of entering the shop, had never crossed his mind.

He groaned as he saw Dandelion’s hands flow up and with a sensual move describe what could only be the womanly curves of the sorceress.  
The shop keeper and the two assistants hung on his lips utterly fascinated by his tale. Geralt could see that the girls would throw looks at him every now and then. Shy glances at first but as the bard progressed in his story, those looks became definitely hotter. The Witcher squirmed - and cursed himself for being so stupid in the first place. 

It had all started with the bloody unicorn - and the fact that he loved to rip Yen’s underwear from her. Unfortunately this time it had not just been some simple cotton or lace thong but a rather delicate and even more expensive piece that Yen had worn to celebrate them being together for the first time in months. But he had been so focused on having her in his arms again, and not to lose his balance on the stupid stuffed animal that he simply ripped the flimsy piece of fabric away without a second thought.  
When they had finished and were lying on the pelts in front of the fire, Yen had discovered what remained of her underwear. She hadn’t said anything but Geralt had seen the look on her face.  
That was when he decided he would get her something new. He had never before bought undergarments for her but it couldn’t be too difficult. He knew her favorite color - black, and her favorite style - expensive. That should do the trick.  
But when he mentioned this in front of Lambert and Eskel both men kept strangely quiet. Eskel wouldn't look him in the eyes, and Lambert had suddenly found a stain on his sword that needed polishing.  
“What is it? Are you going to tell me that getting Yen something new is a bad idea?” He stared at them. With a sigh Lambert put his sword down. Geralt registered the relieved look on Eskel’s face as the other decided to answer him.  
“Have you ever bought something for Yennefer or any other woman?” Lambert asked, his head tilted slightly.  
“Sure I have - a ring, and once a cloak and boots” Geralt had no idea where that question would lead. Lambert only lifted his eyebrows “How often is she wearing them?”  
Geralt opened his mouth to answer but closed it again after a few seconds. When had Yen worn that cloak and boots? He remembered that she had worn the ring for a month before she had claimed she was worried to lose it and now kept it in a pouch at her belt. And she had worn the boots and cloak right after he had given them to her - only once, though.  
His eyes narrowed “What do you want to tell me? Out with it.” He suddenly felt very stupid.  
Eskel lifted his eyebrow and shot a look at Lambert, who sighed “I just wanted to tell you that this might not be as easy as you thought.”

After that evening Geralt had a very different understanding of the effort and thought that would have to go into finding something suitable for Yen. He had listened to the other two men, who had told stories of finding the right gift, that sounded more elaborate and complicated than many contracts he had taken on.  
From all they told him one thing became clear pretty soon - he would need some help. And after thinking long and hard and eliminating one by one he was left with one name - Dandelion.  
All others were either not available or otherwise not the right choice. He would rather take a forktail with him than ask Triss to help him. Actually, the specific nature of this quest had him eliminate basically every woman he knew. Ciri would have been the only one who he would have trusted but he had no idea where she was.  
So the next week had him approach the Chameleon in Novigrad with a slight sense of unease and foreboding in his stomach.  
Zoltan was outside and greeted him enthusiastically by pulling him into a hug and suggesting they spend the next days drinking, eating and playing Gwent. Geralt was seriously considering taking him up on that offer before reminding himself of his quest. The sooner he could deal with it, the better.

Upon hearing his question Dandelion was more than game. He was positively enthusiastic and immediately started to list every merchant in town and beyond, who could provide the merchandise they needed.  
Zoltan had listened closely as well - although he kept his face hidden in his mug of ale for the most time. And he stopped Dandelion in his tracks when he simply stated “Your list is quite long, lad, but we’re talking of Lady Yennefer here.” The bard hemmed and shot a look at Geralt, who had said nothing so far.  
“True, true, … for the fair Lady Yennefer we will need something special, something breathtaking. Something no ordinary peddler will offer…” he grew quiet.  
After a few moments of silence Geralt wanted to say something, when a sudden light shone in the bard’s eyes “Verruca’s Secret” he whispered. Zoltan drew in a sharp breath but said nothing.  
The Witcher looked from one to the other - both seemed to be somewhere else with their minds and small smiles curled their lips.  
“Whose secret?” he asked impatiently. He wanted to get on with this.  
Zoltan was fist to answer “A very special place - only few are ever allowed in. You wouldn’t know it from the outside and it’s location is usually treated as a secret.”  
The Witcher scoffed “A shop with a secret location - usually not very good for business.”  
“Ah - but you see, that his the thing with Verruca’s Secret. By making itself scarce and hard to find, the attraction is so much bigger. Word of mouth is the only thing needed.” Dandelion smiled.  
“And I know where it is.”

The house was indeed unremarkable. It was however located in the best district in town - and a guard was glaring at everybody who even dared to slow their step as they walked past.  
His glare intensified when Geralt and the Bard stopped in front of him.  
“Good man, let us pass. We are on a special mission.” Dandelion waved his hand in front of the man’s face who remained completely unimpressed.  
“Got an invitation?” He rumbled. The bard was not perturbed “Who needs an invitation when on a mission for everlasting love and desire?”  
“You do.” It was clear that they were not the only ones who tried to gain access by waxing lyrically.  
Somehow Geralt was slightly amused but then decided to end this. With one step he stood before the guard and glared down at him “Our business is a Witcher contract - move aside.” His voice was as low and dangerous as he was able to keep it. The short spark of defiance in the guard's eyes quickly vanished and the man swallowed visibly before stepping aside.  
Geralt nodded and entered, followed by a flustered Dandelion.

They stood in a short corridor with another door at the end. Geralt just moved on and entered the room beyond. And stopped short in his tracks.  
A few strategically placed candles put the room in a soft, warm glow. The walls were covered in mirrors and reflected the light in a myriad of flames. It smelled musky and expensive with a light floral overtone.  
Beautiful dark furniture was dotted around the room, creating a seemingly random arrangement that nevertheless managed to convey the notion that someone had spent a considerable amount of time and planning to achieve this.  
And dozens - no hundreds of delicate pieces of underwear in all colors and fabrics imaginable were displayed along the walls and on small tables. The Witcher was lost for words, and it took him a few moments to gather his thoughts and force them back on track. He swallowed hard. 

“Gentlemen - welcome to my humble establishment. How may I be of service?” A high pitched voice piped up from the general area of Geralt’s hip. He turned and looked down - the small sharp face of a gnome looked up to him.  
Geralt had no idea if the face belonged to a female or male, and his eyes tried to find something on the gnome that would point him in the right direction. The gnome was wearing high heels but that didn’t convince the Witcher.  
Dandelion had obviously recovered from his shock at Geralt’s version of convincing the guard to let them pass, and greeted the gnome like an old friend. Which didn't really surprise Geralt, regarding the bards reputation with the fairer sex and his tendency to throw expensive gifts at it.  
“My dear Verruca, you look as radiant as ever. Let me tell you that the neglige you recommended to me last time, was met with absolute delight, and is still worn by the lady to remember a rather intense night. It was definitely worth every single gold crown.” He smiled down at the gnome.  
“Dandy - you old bastard.” Geralt visibly startled at the gravelly voice and changed tone, looking down at the gnome who had grabbed Dandelion's hand in both of his, shaking it hard.  
So the bard definitely knew the gnome, who had dropped his sales persona at once. “Who’s your friend there - looks dangerous?” the gnome inquired, tilting his head towards Geralt.  
Dandelion smiled and with a flourish bowed to the gnome “Ah, my apologies. I was so delighted to see you again that I completely omitted to introduce you. Verruca - this is my friend, the famous White Wolf - the Witcher Geralt of Rivia. Geralt this is Verruca, owner of this exceptionally fine establishment and purveyor of everything a woman’s heart might desire.”  
Geralt nodded his head at the gnome “Pleasure to meet you.”  
Verruca looked at him quizzically before turning back to the bard “I am very honored to have someone as famous as the White Wolf in my humble shop. Might I inquire what it is, that has brought you here?” He sounded only slightly nervous.  
Geralt was about to answer but Dandelion was far ahead of him “The Witcher requires something special - something unique for a lady as unique as the moon in the sky.”  
Verruca’s eyebrows shot up and a hand flew to his mouth “By the gods - are we talking about HER?” he whispered.  
The bard only nodded. The gnome’s second hand shot to his mouth but he couldn't completely hide the small squeal that evaded him. Then he exploded into sudden movement “Girls, come here, prepare the special collection. We have to find something for the Lady Yennefer of Vengerberg!”  
Geralt’s eyes bore into Dandelion’s. He knew that there was only one way the gnome would know Yen’s name.  
“What did you tell him?” He asked with clenched teeth. “No - don’t tell me, I doubt I want to know.” He stopped the bard before he heard something that would make him want to kill him.

But he could not stop Dandelion when he started to tell his version of the story when Geralt had saved Yen from the Wild Hunt, giving himself to them in exchange for her.  
The bard enjoyed his rapt audience and when he finally finished, there were a few sniffles and Verruca blew his nose noisily into a white lace handkerchief that looked like it had cost as much as Geralt’s whole wardrobe - armor excluded.

“What a beautiful tale - and I can promise you, we will find something that is worthy of the lady of your heart.” The gnome shushed his assistants and they scurried away, only to return with arms full of lace and silk. 

Carefully touching the fabrics, lest he rip something by accident, Geralt was lost for words. He was simply overwhelmed by the choice laid out in front of him. Even when they had narrowed it down to exquisite and black. But that still seemed to cover half the shops wares.

At his side Dandelion was humming and murmuring his delight at this piece of lace or that ribbon of silk. 

Geralt then did something he had never done before in his whole life - he simply gave up. Turning to one of the girls, who was hovering at his elbow he looked at her “What would you choose?”  
She smiled and immediately pulled a few select pieces from the tables around the room. “Many gentlemen prefer to purchase one of these.”  
Before he even could get a clear look at them, Dandelion had dismissed every single piece “That is not her. The lady is exquisite and her beauty could command an army. We need something different.”  
Geralt was quite sure that Yen could command an army but he doubted that it was her beauty that would do so. 

Dandelion and Verruca then seemed to decide that they needed neither the assistants nor Geralt in their endeavor to find the perfect piece of lingerie for Yennefer. The Witcher decided not to disturb them and he simply waited - leaning on a table, his arms crossed.  
Finally the bard and the gnome seemed to have come to an understanding. Both wore a proud smile as they turned around and presented their chosen piece to Geralt.  
It was a perfect, elaborate work of art. Geralt looked at it - and shook his head. That was not it.  
With a groan both men went back to their table and started from the beginning.

After what seemed like hours they presented their final decision to Geralt, who had started to drift off, and was seriously considering meditating right there on the floor.  
So far he had refused every piece they held out for him. By now Dandelion looked definitely worse for wear, and even Verruca had thrown off his high heels, and loosened the tight corset he wore.  
There hadn’t been any sign of the assistants for quite a while.  
Geralt looked at the piece of lace and satin that lay on the table in front of him. It was by far not the frilliest they had shown him today. There was some lace but it was rather subtle. The satin and silk shone beautifully in the light, and reminded him of the midnight black coat of a rather beautiful fiend he had once hunted. He decided not to mention this to the two hopeful faces in front of him.  
His fingertips touched the fabric and picked it up. It weighed nothing and flowed through his hands like black water. It was beautiful.  
Looking at Verruca he nodded slightly. A huge grin erupted on the small face “The gentleman is a true connoisseur of beauty. As his choice in his lady already shows. This is one of the finest pieces that has ever been made. Elven hands wove the fabric and it is said that they used moonlight to make it shine like that. And I am proud to say that we have just the perfect corset to accompany it.” With that he pulled a midnight blue box from under the counter and extracted a rather complex looking combination of metal, bone and silk from it. Geralt knew his armors well and this was as fine as any armor he had ever held in his hands.  
His throat went dry, as he pictured Yen in these garments. He pushed the corset back to the gnome “I’ll take it.”

With a grin Verruca carefully put the corset back “Would the gentleman be interested in some silk stockings to complete the arrangement?” He was about to pull something from another extremely expensive looking box when Geralt stopped him “That would be enough, thank you.” The Witcher had no idea if his funds were sufficient even for the two pieces he just bought - he wouldn’t risk adding any more.  
With a deep breath he steadied himself. But the gnome was far from finished. He started to carefully fold both garments and placing them on a bed of velvet in their respective boxes. With a flourish he pulled out a small bag and picked a handful of dried rose petals from it, which he carefully sprinkled over the fabric. He added a second handful for good measure before returning the bag under the table. He came back up with a length of silvery ribbon. Closing the boxes he started to wrap them in a large sheet of midnight blue cloth. He then continued to construct a rather complex lacing using the ribbon. A large bow finished his masterpiece. Geralt didn’t have the heart to tell him that is was unlikely to survive like this in Roach’s saddlebags.  
He was about to grab the package when the gnome tsk-ed him and disappeared in the backroom. When he came back he held a small wreath of lilac and gooseberries.  
He shot a sly smile at the Witcher as he used a bit of twine to sew it on.

Geralt was speechless - he looked over to Dandelion who just stood there, a very smug smile on his face. Yet another detail that had made it into the stories. Sometimes the Witcher was glad that he had at least his nights with Yen for himself. Although some of Dandelions raunchier ballads came pretty close. He shot another sharp look at the bard, just for good measure.

He was in a daze when the gnome said his goodbyes and shook their hands. Dandelion carefully led him out, carrying the package himself. The amount of crowns that had just changed their owner was staggering. Geralt was still trying to get around how many pieces of armor he could have had crafted for him for this sum, when they exited back onto the street.  
The look the guard shot him was full of pity. The man knew what had happened in there. And it seemed that the Witcher wasn’t the first to have paid what amounted to a small estate in some parts of the country for a few flimsy pieces of fabric. 

Although he tried valiantly, the package looked not the same when he arrived in Vizima, where he had planned to surprise Yen. The lilac had wilted considerably, and the once proud bow hung limply. A few small holes in the midnight blue fabric bore witness to the fact that the package had shared it’s place in the saddlebags with some of his crossbow-bolts which he hadn’t removed first.  
And the fact that Roach had decided she needed a dust bath and just rolled in the sand before he could remove her tack, hadn’t helped the general appearance of the package at all. 

He tried to bring it back into form and even managed to recreate the bow to something resembling the original.  
But he was still extremely anxious when he walked to their room. Yen was reading on the bed and looked up when he came in. “Geralt, love. So good that you are back.” She stopped when she saw the package. Her eyes became huge “Verruca’s Secret” she whispered.  
Only then did the Witcher realize that this was something that everybody except him seemed to know about. But his musings were interrupted when Yen stood up and walked towards him.  
She carefully took the blue boxes from his hands and put them on the table. Geralt wondered why she wouldn’t open them, but then he had his hands full of sorceress and the boxes were his least concern.  
There were no words spoken for the next hour and only after they were both spent and sated he remembered the package “Don’t you want to open it?” he asked sleepily. Yen just smiled, and pulled the boxes over to her. With great care she pulled the wrapping apart. Even the wilted lilac was put carefully on the nightstand.  
With bated breath Geralt waited until she had pulled out the first piece - the corset. Her hands touched the fabric and he could see her eyes lighten up. But she said nothing. Even after she had opened the second box she remained quiet.  
When she finally looked up, he saw a strange light in her eyes “Why,… how,… they are beautiful, but why,…?” She was clearly lost for words. Geralt smiled and shrugged “I wanted to get you something new after I destroyed the one last time. Knowing that you take great care and pride in your clothes I thought I needed to get you something special.”  
Shaking her head lightly she continued to stare at him “Who…?” was all she managed.  
Geralt looked down at his hands, actually not surprised that she already had suspected that he had help in this. “Dandelion” he murmured.  
Her bright laughter at his answer had him stare at her. She smiled mischievously “How long will it take him?” she asked, still smiling at his uncomprehending look “To write a ballad - about the White Wolf and his treasure hunt at Verruca’s Secret?”  
She leaned over and kissed him long and languidly, still holding the garments in her hands.

He was sure that she would wear them more than once.

**Author's Note:**

> Yep - no horrible things happening this time. And Dandelion finally has a chance to save Geralt. Happy Endings all around.


End file.
